Recognising the Signs of Forced Marriage

Forced marriage can happen to anyone at any time, regardless of their gender, sexual orientation or ethnicity. It’s therefore vitally important that everyone is familiar with the signs of forced marriage, so that we can work together to protect ourselves and our friends. This blog post contains a list that will help you recognise the signs of a forced marriage.

Signs of forced marriage 

Every circumstance will be individual, but cases of people suffering from, or at risk of, forced marriage often display the following traits:

• Domestic abuse. Has the person been seen with bruises, or are they scared to speak up when a particular person is nearby? These aren’t the only examples of domestic abuse, but they can be clearly noticed.
• Ask the person about their family. Have their brothers or sisters been married when they were really young? This can indicate forced marriage, and if their siblings have entered into forced marriage, then it is more likely that your friend will experience it, too.
• Do they often stay home? Are they allowed to speak freely to other people? If their socialising is limited in these ways, that can be a sign that they’re in difficulty.
• No (financial) independence. They must rely on a member of their family (for example) for their finances, and they have limited to no control either of their income or of what they spend.
• If they stop attending school or coming to work.
• Their family and community members constantly check up on them. This could be in person, by phone or text, or even over social media.
• Their grades or work performance suffers.
• There’s a decline in their behaviour (they might become moody, withdrawn, sad, or angry. These are only examples).
• Are they worried or down? Have they lost interest in things that used to excite them?
• They don’t really want to talk.
• They go missing.
• They disappear from, or stop updating, their social media.

This isn’t an exhaustive list, and of course each point could relate to some other issue in the person’s life. But if you’re worried, try gently reaching out to them and encouraging them to talk to you. Be reassuring and non-judgemental of whatever they tell you. But most importantly: don’t talk to their family members or community. Ask the person to reach out to Karma Nirvana or Savera UK instead.

We’ve written a post on what to do to get help with forced marriage, which you can read here. Remember, the safety of you and your friend is of utmost importance. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.